Friday, September 24, 2010

The 'Sex and the City' Billboard

Okay Losers, I have a question to pose for you in the dying days of what is a truly sucky year.  This letter appeared in the local paper.  It is presented here for your enlightenment, amusement, or whatever reactions you may have. (More than one is allowed.)
"To the editor:

I am writing in regards to a billboard on U.S. 72 advertising the show "Sex in the City."  I have tried unsuccessfully to contact Fox 54 about this billboard.

I am a mother of five children, four of whom are teenagers.  I was disappointed and shocked to see this billboard in our town. Every day, my kids and husband are exposed to this larger than life replica of Sarah Jessica Parker lying in a sultry manner with her thighs bare and her breasts exposed. Not only is this visual image ingrained in their minds on a daily basis, they become desensitized to these things that are sacred.

With the very large words sex and city seen every day, they come to see sex as normal as getting hungry and seeing an ad for a hamburger.  Casual sex is more damaging than hamburgers and should be seen as such.

I cannot take my family to the mall because we have to pass by Victoria's Secret, where soft porn is illuminated in their display windows.  I can protect my family in my home by not exposing them to these things, by turning off the TV and teaching them about keeping themselves pure, but when I go out in public, they are bombarded by messages that say "have casual sex, you'll feel good."  "Dress seductively, your worth depends on it."  It makes parenting hard when our society bombards my kids and my husband with these temptations daily.

We moved from a big city in the hopes that we could raise a family in a place where these things would not inundate our family.  I would like to see the innocence of [city unnamed] stay that way.  Some may say these things are a progression for our city, but in reality, they are a digression.

Desensitizing our families to the sacredness of sex and purity can only lead to destruction of families in our society.  It leads to teen premarital sex, sexual crimes and teen pregnancies and disease.  This does not sound like progression to me.

As a mother hen protects her chicks, so will I cover my family with my wings and I would call on my city to help me.

[Name withheld]


My first reaction was that I was remiss in not feeling sufficient reverence for Sarah Jessica Parker's ta-tas, monumental though they might be.  I have been accused of insufficient reverence for convention in other forums, so this is not new.  Or maybe it's simply lésé majeste to the horsy set, I don't know.  And I always regarded Vicky's Secret as a local cultural landmark on the order of the football stadium, Rosie's Cantina, or the library.  Perhaps I need to appear before the City Council to request that said Sarah Jessica Parker billboard be declared a cultural landmark.  After all, we do pay attention to history in the South.
But I have a second thought.  The writer really wrote a clever parody, and she has gulled the complacent coffee-requiring reader into thinking that this is serious.  After all, this is a community in which ties its economic fortunes to a golf course and in which some regard swallowing goldfish as a way of witnessing for the Lord.

So what's your take, real or parody?

[I wrote this in 2006.]

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