Saturday, October 14, 2017

Bats, and Not the Louisville Slugger Variety

When I was working, for much of my career I was in the oldest building on the campus. The building had unofficial residents: bats.

Now it happened that it had two large stairwells: the smelly one, and the unsmelly one. I counseled students on the first day of class to use the one that didn't smell and not the other.

The reason: batshit.

Yes, and these were members of a protected species. Not homo sapiens.

Let me stipulate that I was not gentle when I occasionally had to remove one from a classroom. I channeled Little Bunny Foo Foo, bopped him on the head, and swept him into a trash can, Not messing with rabies or histoplasmosis! Tough love for bats.

Well, we recently heard late night scratching in my house's attic. I thought, oh my god! It's bats. So we called Varmint Busters.

The verdict: The scratching sounds were just from mice. Hooray! Mice are small; they don't leave a mountain of guano, and they are unprotected! And they're easily eraticated.

I think that we should re-think our notions about certain species being protected. After all, bats are not whooping cranes!


  1. Sounds like capture and relocate would have been in order for the bats in the belfry.

  2. would have been in order for the bats in the belfry.


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