A Possible Change in the Hall of Statuary

Squeeze Toothpaste from Bottom

Seagull Administration

Let's consider an administrative style that can be troublesome if you do not understand its normal course.  This is a form of administration in which the performer drops in, squawks, deposits a lot of crap, and flies off to new parts with the likelihood of follow-through being very unlikely.  This is a habit that some hierarchies and deans fall prey to; it comes from a need to be seen as a take charge, big idea kind of leader.

I had a boss at one time who conducted seagull administration: he liked to drop in occasionally, randomly criticize without inquiry or understanding, and then go on, never to bring up the matter again. At first these attentions were disturbing.  However, we came over time to regard that as part of the on-the-job entertainment.

In general, the advice given by family doctors is often applicable: take two aspirins and wait for the symptoms to recede.

A good bartender would recommend taking two doses of Jack Daniel's.  I prefer that solution.

Yes, administrators can drive people to drink. Very rarely to think.

Just Here to Help

Sometimes it just feels like that.

Salaries and Work Enjoyment

I found this chart.  This calls for more empirical research, but it seems intuitive.

Young Duckbutt Learns About Being a College Professor

I was hired by an institution in another state.  Back then, I was in my mid-20's, and had some ideas of what kinds of lofty thoughts and clever sayings were expected of me as a newly minted assistant professor with my recent Ph. D. from the University of Alabama.  I thought I was well-read, kept abreast of current affairs (Hey, I subscribed to Time, had a smattering of philosophy, a limited knowledge of arts, and a lot of brass.)  Yes, I drove a 1967 Volkswagen and had broad tastes in rock music.

My first task on the job, other than filling out a lot of paperwork, was to stand by a door and let students through only if their I.B.M. card had a green stripe on the top where the name was typed.  If they lacked the green stripe, I was to send them down the hall.  I was never told what happened to the green stripers nor the others; the greenies could have been admitted to a wild party or damned from here to eternity, for all I knew.  Oh well, I learned about need to know when I worked for a radiopositioning company.

I guess assistant professors are regarded as in the same category as second lieutenants.

The next day, I went early before classes into the snack bar, met a few fellow faculty members, and thought, "Wow, my first intellectual conversation as a junior college professor!  I hope I can hold my own."

Only it didn't work that way.  The sage elders (pretty nice guys, by the way) were talking about something I knew nothing about.

Cyd Charisse's legs!

Of course!  College professors talk about some of the things that others do.  Actually, they talk a lot of shop, sports, and politics.  Politics?  Up one's wazoo!  Yes, and actresses from before my time.

Anyway, when I took my next teaching job, I was then knowledgeable about Cyd Charisse's legs! Darn it, I was never asked about them.

Parody Painting

I found this on the cruise ship Celebrity Silhouette.  It's a great parody of Leonardo da Vinci's La Belle Ferronnière. The artist was Dorothee Golz.  She makes a nice iron maker's daughter.